I'm new at this...

Alright for all you experienced "New Years Revolutionists" out there - I need some help. As this is the first New Years I have ever been through, all I kept hearing for an entire night besides, "Are they really going to bring Dick Clark back again?" was, "So, what's your new years revolution??" I listened intently as mom and dad made theirs: (Mom) - To get addicted to coffee. -- sounds reasonable to me. (Dad) - To break mom's addiction -- hmmm..seems like we have the looks of a healthy start to the new year in our household. SO, as I lay me down to sleep that night, I prayed the Lord my soul to keep....and to help me come up with some new years revolutions...here's what He came up with (and I agreed..some I pushed back on)..

1. To beat dad in the, "I'm so sick" pity party. He started with the stomach bug for a weekend. I saw his stomach bug (for a week and a half) and raised him an ear infection. He saw my ear infection with a sore throat and raised me ANOTHER stomach bug this past weekend. Today though I noticed he was getting too much attention from mom so I called his bluff and raised him a bacterial flu and ANOTHER ear infection-- that's right..BOTH my eyes ooze nasty goodness AND my ear is infected and the BEST part is the doctor put me on a new medicine today for 10 days that will inevitably bring back my DIARRHEA. HOLLER!!! Who's got mom's attention now, Dad!?!? Go ahead...I dare you.....

2. To fit into size 2T before my 1st birthday. I have these two pairs of jeans that are 2T and I'm dying to fit into them as I think they are going to look REALLY good on me. Waste wise I think I'm there but I gotta grow another inch or two before I don't have to roll the cuffs. C'MON horse genes!!



3. To learn more about this Jesus man/God/Spirit (see..I'm already confused) that keeps being talked about around here. When Dad prays with me at night he asks Jesus for a LOT of things..BIG things...well, I got 9 other areas written within that I'm clearly gonna need some help with!!




4. To start wearing deodorant. Listen people..although not written I'm also working on honesty and so I should go ahead and tell you I have a small case of the ole' sweaty pits. I mean, I'm not going to go as far as saying I'm more of a man than other boys my age (although clearly I'm not LESS of a man) but I'm considering starting to shave and let's just say mom has ceased any kissing and tickling within the armpit area due to suffocation precautions. Think what you will folks but if wearing deodorant is so wrong..then I don't want to be right.




5. To stay immobile the entire year. I got weighed the other day at the doctor and although i had on all my winter clothes and a wet diaper I managed to clock in at a whopping 26.7. I'm trying to get to 35 pounds by the age of 1 and if I can't crawl than that means mom and dad still have to carry me everywhere. How sweet would that be --- just to see them exert that much energy into getting me to the changing table would be awesome. Listen people..I know you think I'm mean but in just a few years guess who is gonna be pushing their wheelchairs around and wiping their behinds...that's right, it's ME. And don't think I don't realize I'm an only child so I don't even have someone to split the duties with (oh don't tell me Daisy's going to be any use in that...she's more needy than I am!!!). So, in return, I'm going to take advantage of this helpless state for as LONG as I can (even though secretly I totally know how to crawl...shhh..don't tell my parents).



I prefer....




6. Spend more time with my kuzins haley and caitlin. i miss them.

7. Be #1 in the V-sit n' Reach for all children my age. Mom tells people I have go-go-gadget arms. She says there used to be a show on t.v. when she was a kid of this guy that could just press a button and his arms, neck, legs, etc. would extend very long. I don't need to press a button though - I just naturally have go-go-gadgets. Hence my lack of need to crawl. Toy across the room...NO PROBLEM...I see said toy and just with one or two warm up stretches pretty much have that thing in my grip before mom and dad can get over to get it for me. Why crawl and burn calories when you can just reach and can keep food in your other hand for the snacking.




8. To be potty trained by 2011. What?? You don't think that's feasible?? Reach for the stars people and you may just hit the moon. Reach for the trees and you'll probably hit the ground -- (copyright 2010, GRB) -- picture below is to remind you of my sickness and how I look like I was in a fight with Rocky...this one was taken for you Gramps!



9. Learn a few signs - for example..one day I think I will mimic mom and just sign the words "more please" but for now it's REALLY fun to just GRRRRUUUUNNNNTTTT at her really loudly. Especially when we are in public places. I don't care if I haven't swallowed yet I want the next bite and I want it NOOOWWWWWWW. Life will be much quieter when I finally oblige and just sign my needs. This one though I may put off till next December, just because yelling elicits such a great response out of mom.

10. Find sponsors for my blog and become a professional blog writer. I can't wait to be 18 and a professional blogger (probably world famous) and people say, "So, when did you start blogging??" and I can respond, "when I was two weeks -- here's a picture to prove it." Your parents got you golf clubs and soccer balls at 2 in hopes of living vicariously through you and maybe even getting out of paying for your college via a scholarship...my parents gave me a laptop. BIG WINNER....