I've been everywhere man...

Look Out Philly...Here I come!

This weekend we're going to load the family up and take a ride up to West Philadelphia, where mom was born and raised.    Seriously, I'm looking forward to it.  I was actually JUST telling Mr. Bear about it:

I told you in one of my previous posts that Mom and Dad got a family friendly car for Christmas.  This trip would be an ideal trip to take advantage of the space as mom talked some shenanigans of feeding me in the car to get up there quicker on Friday evening.  Well, tonight as I was playing before bed I overheard M & D talking about the schedule for Friday.  All of a sudden Dad pulled out the big guns, "Sweetie, I'm just going to be up front with you..." -- UH - OH...things are NEVER good when dad starts with those words.  So, I stopped playing with my choo-choo for just a minute as I knew this was going to be far more entertaining.  He continued, "I'm going to do the math...how much it's going to cost us in gas using the Honda (small car) and how much it's going to cost us in gas using the Toyota (big car) and I'm going to let YOU decide if you think the difference in price is worth it."  And a HUSSSHHHHHHHH fell over the crowd..c'mon, do it with me -- HUSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.  Oh yes, this was getting good.  So typical dad, he does the diaper math, he does the formula math, and now he does the gas math. 

I loved this conversation for a few reasons.  This is so my parents.  Dad worried about money and mom worried about taking the nicer, more comfortable and more spacious car.  Also, Dad presented this somewhat touchy subject in a way that he felt allowed mom to feel like she was the big winner.  After all, it is MOM that is going to decide if the price difference is "worth it."  However, Dad TOTALLY is trying to manipulate the situation by offering mom the final say but thinking that there's NO way she'll be able to justify taking the bigger car once he presents her with the figures because she'll feel too guilty to accept the higher figure just for the sake of her increased comfort.  Unfortunately for Dad though I think Mom will have the last laugh.  What dad seems to be forgetting is the first time (literally..this is no joke) mom got home from her first solo shopping experience post marriage.  From what I have been told, Mom went out on her own one Saturday with wedding gift cards GALORE and began to explore her options.  Pier One was a popular choice in card so she proceeded there first.  Thankfully (for her..not for Dad) she had a little cash on hand as well.  So, she picked up a few items such as candles, some place mats, and a few other decorations for the house and proceeded home as she couldn't wait to show Dad her finds.  Upon arriving home and showing off her items in a 'freshly married, I'm so cute, I'm so sweet, I'm a little decorator' kind of way she then exclaimed, "And sweetie..you'll be so proud of me!  I didn't even spend ANY of the gift cards on these items as I just used my cash instead so I could SAVE the gift cards for later!!!" 

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....

Great-Grandpa..can you BELIEVE THAT???

Great-Grandma...do you think I'm going to grow up to be like her one day?

Wow, you've been trained well...just smile and nod..smile and nod...

So, I'll keep you all posted as to how this story ends.  Clearly though Mom isn't one to worry about a few dollar bills here or there, especially if she's still got her gift cards she can deposit into the bank.  HAHAHAHAHA.   C'mon..if you're not laughing just visualize mom pulling up to the drive-through window at the bank and sticking the Pier One gift cards that she saved into a deposit envelope for the teller.  AND, if that doesn't get you..imagine the look on Dad's face or even the thoughts that went through his mind when Mr. Gas Math heard the words "spent the cash and saved the gift cards" from his bride whom he just - one measly week beforehand - committed himself to for the REST of his life.  The best part about ALL of this...she's an ACCOUNTANT!!!  Even I don't know how this story ends yet but I'm sure it'll be good so stay tuned!!  Oh and P.S. - Dad, do I have any say in which car we take?? My legs sure do feel more cramped in that Honda!!!!

I leave you with some more pictures of my time in Arkansas -- this here is 4 generations, people and yes, my heart was way more excited about this than my face let on (it was late..cut me some slack). 

...and this year's Mom of the Year Award goes to...

NOT my mom. My friend Henry just announced his mom wasn't getting the award either so maybe Mom and his mom can relate. Listen, I'm not trying to be rude but let me just ask you this -- you ever been left to sleep in your own vomit before?? Yes, you heard me correctly..I had to sleep in my own vomit. Let me backup here and give you some background --

Well, you know how it was my New Years Revolution to beat dad in the "I'm so sick pity party" right? Okay, so I got that flu bacteria that added an ear infection and forced me on medicine that would give me the runs. A) That was awesome. BUT, I didn't think it was QUITE enough to out-do dad. SO, two Sunday nights ago I stepped it up a notch. I've been in bed - "asleep" - and I devise my plan. PUKE. It's easy. So, I get myself to start thinking about disgusting things that would make me nauseous. Sure enough I feel sick so I start to cry to get mom out of bed at about midnight. Mom does her typical, "wait it out and see if he'll get himself back to sleep" game but not this time. I wail and I just continue to wail harder. She gets up like a Mom of the Year would do...comes in, picks me up and ahhhhhhhhh...I WIN. Dad's alone in the bed and mom is snuggling me like a momma bear to her cubs singing sweet Amazing Grace in my ear and rubbing my back as we rock back and forth. So, now that I'm quiet and content mom starts her slow descent down the road of losing her nomination. With a "I think you're okay, Punkin" she slowly gets up and lays me back down in my crib, tucks me under the blanket and hands me my puppy as some sort of condolence prize. I flip out. For starters, my name isn't Punkin and you're the one that named me so I'm not sure why you insist on calling me that. I start kicking, yelling, the whole nine yards to let the lady know that no, in fact I'm NOT okay and puppy is NOT going to get me back to sleep as I begin to feel the mass amounts of blueberries I had eaten that day rise to the top of my throat. AND with that..the door is closed. Mom goes back to dad who I BELIEVE says, "he'll be okay..he's just gotta work it out" (yes, he hasn't won any awards this year either) and so work it out I did...EVERYWHERE. Then....I fell asleep in it. I wake up once more in the night, cry for just a minute or two because really..what's the point? For her to come in and hand me puppy again and maybe have time to clean up before the stains set? Plus, she wouldn't feel QUITE as horrible if she actually found me in the night while I was sick rather than waiting till the morning. So, this time I just cry for a minute, puke again in stealth mode..and back to sleep.

And finally the sun came out. Although I prayed it would be mom who would find me as I awake and start my typical morning chitter-chatter and work on my vowels in the midst of chunks, it turned out to be Dad since mom had to go to work early. New crib sheets - $40, new bumper - $60, new Puppy - $15, new PJ's - $10, shampoo to get me clean - $8....but the look on dad's face - PRICELESS. It made it ALL worth it. The crib was covered, I was covered, all in my hair, all over puppy -- you get the picture. I was happy as a clam though AND I got a special early morning bath out of the deal and stained (permanently) just about everything in sight. The best part - I gave the bug to my babysitter Annmarie and then to Mom Tuesday night and then to Dad Wednesday night. Guess who didn't get out of their crib as mom and dad prayed to the porcelain gods. Grayson - 4, Mom - 0.

Boo-Yah! Piece of cake...:)

I'm new at this...

Alright for all you experienced "New Years Revolutionists" out there - I need some help. As this is the first New Years I have ever been through, all I kept hearing for an entire night besides, "Are they really going to bring Dick Clark back again?" was, "So, what's your new years revolution??" I listened intently as mom and dad made theirs: (Mom) - To get addicted to coffee. -- sounds reasonable to me. (Dad) - To break mom's addiction -- hmmm..seems like we have the looks of a healthy start to the new year in our household. SO, as I lay me down to sleep that night, I prayed the Lord my soul to keep....and to help me come up with some new years revolutions...here's what He came up with (and I agreed..some I pushed back on)..

1. To beat dad in the, "I'm so sick" pity party. He started with the stomach bug for a weekend. I saw his stomach bug (for a week and a half) and raised him an ear infection. He saw my ear infection with a sore throat and raised me ANOTHER stomach bug this past weekend. Today though I noticed he was getting too much attention from mom so I called his bluff and raised him a bacterial flu and ANOTHER ear infection-- that's right..BOTH my eyes ooze nasty goodness AND my ear is infected and the BEST part is the doctor put me on a new medicine today for 10 days that will inevitably bring back my DIARRHEA. HOLLER!!! Who's got mom's attention now, Dad!?!? Go ahead...I dare you.....

2. To fit into size 2T before my 1st birthday. I have these two pairs of jeans that are 2T and I'm dying to fit into them as I think they are going to look REALLY good on me. Waste wise I think I'm there but I gotta grow another inch or two before I don't have to roll the cuffs. C'MON horse genes!!



3. To learn more about this Jesus man/God/Spirit (see..I'm already confused) that keeps being talked about around here. When Dad prays with me at night he asks Jesus for a LOT of things..BIG things...well, I got 9 other areas written within that I'm clearly gonna need some help with!!




4. To start wearing deodorant. Listen people..although not written I'm also working on honesty and so I should go ahead and tell you I have a small case of the ole' sweaty pits. I mean, I'm not going to go as far as saying I'm more of a man than other boys my age (although clearly I'm not LESS of a man) but I'm considering starting to shave and let's just say mom has ceased any kissing and tickling within the armpit area due to suffocation precautions. Think what you will folks but if wearing deodorant is so wrong..then I don't want to be right.




5. To stay immobile the entire year. I got weighed the other day at the doctor and although i had on all my winter clothes and a wet diaper I managed to clock in at a whopping 26.7. I'm trying to get to 35 pounds by the age of 1 and if I can't crawl than that means mom and dad still have to carry me everywhere. How sweet would that be --- just to see them exert that much energy into getting me to the changing table would be awesome. Listen people..I know you think I'm mean but in just a few years guess who is gonna be pushing their wheelchairs around and wiping their behinds...that's right, it's ME. And don't think I don't realize I'm an only child so I don't even have someone to split the duties with (oh don't tell me Daisy's going to be any use in that...she's more needy than I am!!!). So, in return, I'm going to take advantage of this helpless state for as LONG as I can (even though secretly I totally know how to crawl...shhh..don't tell my parents).



I prefer....




6. Spend more time with my kuzins haley and caitlin. i miss them.

7. Be #1 in the V-sit n' Reach for all children my age. Mom tells people I have go-go-gadget arms. She says there used to be a show on t.v. when she was a kid of this guy that could just press a button and his arms, neck, legs, etc. would extend very long. I don't need to press a button though - I just naturally have go-go-gadgets. Hence my lack of need to crawl. Toy across the room...NO PROBLEM...I see said toy and just with one or two warm up stretches pretty much have that thing in my grip before mom and dad can get over to get it for me. Why crawl and burn calories when you can just reach and can keep food in your other hand for the snacking.




8. To be potty trained by 2011. What?? You don't think that's feasible?? Reach for the stars people and you may just hit the moon. Reach for the trees and you'll probably hit the ground -- (copyright 2010, GRB) -- picture below is to remind you of my sickness and how I look like I was in a fight with Rocky...this one was taken for you Gramps!



9. Learn a few signs - for example..one day I think I will mimic mom and just sign the words "more please" but for now it's REALLY fun to just GRRRRUUUUNNNNTTTT at her really loudly. Especially when we are in public places. I don't care if I haven't swallowed yet I want the next bite and I want it NOOOWWWWWWW. Life will be much quieter when I finally oblige and just sign my needs. This one though I may put off till next December, just because yelling elicits such a great response out of mom.

10. Find sponsors for my blog and become a professional blog writer. I can't wait to be 18 and a professional blogger (probably world famous) and people say, "So, when did you start blogging??" and I can respond, "when I was two weeks -- here's a picture to prove it." Your parents got you golf clubs and soccer balls at 2 in hopes of living vicariously through you and maybe even getting out of paying for your college via a scholarship...my parents gave me a laptop. BIG WINNER....