LEAVES!

Sorry for the delinquent posts, folks! In the meantime until I can write again, enjoy some fall fun in the leaves!!

Farmer Gray

My girl's mom was sweet enough to take some pictures of me and MAD to get ready for the holiday season this morning and seriously, it was VERY sweet of her.  Mom gave her a crash course in the camera and she followed us all around while I told her about Nemo Neno and Cars and threw rocks at her while she was trying to take the pictures.  Apparently throwing rocks at an expensive camera and a good friend isn't cool..who knew?  Anyway, I was all ready to post the pics in the blog but as MAD went to edit I got in big trouble.  Apparently those are secret pics and can't be shared till Christmas time.  I don't understand these things but they were persistent even in the midst of my complaints.  The one I AM allowed to post though is my favorite anyway.  This goes out to my great Aunt Polly...I can't wait to meet you!!!

xoxo,
Farmer Gray

Monkey See Monkey Do..

Who in their right mind decided it was a good idea to pick a day where all people under 4 ft. tall are required to put on some ridiculous outfit that doesn't fit and is entirely too hot for the temperature outside and walk up to strangers who look terrifyingly dangerous and have them give you candy. Ummm..H-E-L-L-O, people.  So for 19 months all I hear is "don't take candy from strangers" and "strangers = dangers" or "if you don't know their name, don't play their game" (whatever that last one means) but all of a sudden tonight I'm allowed to approach whoever the heck I want, hold out some bag, and in fact ask that they put poison candy into it at their discretion?  I don't know, seems hypocritical to me. 

So, when mom first brought home this outfit I tried to make her wear it.  It apparently was a 2T-3T and in fact there was concern it was going to be too big.  Do my parents KNOW me?  I don't think I would know what "too big" was if it slapped me in the face.  But, then we arrived to my girl's house and I realized all little people were wearing these crazy costumes so with an animal cracker in hand I succumbed to the embarrassment that this was and decided to have myself a good night.  How could you not when you're the only monkey in the midst of three lovely ladies!

Y'all, the street we went down was CRAZY.  It's known in Richmond as the best trick or treating in the city and it didn't disappoint.  They block off the entire street to cars and these houses go ALL OUT as far as decoration.  One time these two black apes jumped out of a house and started running all around and scaring little kids - not cool. Nobody scares Lucille...nobody.  I would be lying to say I did a whole lot of trick or treating.  Much to mom's dismay I didn't collect a whole lot of candy and I'm fairly certain any chocolate I did collect has since been consumed by dad.  Somehow my bag always looked empty?!  Don't worry..I snuck a few from my girl's bucket.  Here J (and by J I mean Mr. Cow) and I are enjoying some evidence of our success.



**When not a fan of trick or treating, here are some steps to still be able to enjoy the treating at the end of the night.

1. Scope out the gal with the highest ratio of candy in bucket to inches tall:

2. Start up small talk while keeping banana in clear sight (notice she's trying not to look)

3. Take a seat on nearest curb to get more on her level but be careful to keep balance as monkey's are front heavy (ps. I'm pretty sure my buddy the cow stole that Reese's from Lucille as well).

4. Admire her "purse"

5. Look to Dad for advice on next step as she tweets about her favorite monkey. Dad's first words...show some leg.

6. Stop playing it cool and JUST GO FOR IT..what do you have to lose besides a snickers bar???

I had a fantastic night. My personality fit my costume as I ran all around the street screaming like a monkey. So fun to be with my friends and in some weird way I am already excited for next year.

Just another day in paradise -

Wassup?

My size 7 (wide) kicks were starting to cramp the ole' toesies so I told MAD I'd had enough and off to the store we went. Umm..two things. 1) Did you know that metal objects are involved when measuring one's foot?  I was pretty sure I was being kidnapped and strapped to a metal shoe so I couldn't run away when nice young lady tried to "measure my foot."  YEA RIGHT, lady.  Like I'm going to fall for that one - reminds me of when that nurse wanted to "measure my head" - more like strangle me by the forehead.  I think Mom was proud of me for not giving in and listening to strangers- eventually she just said, "I think he's an 8..the 7s are tight which leads me to believe he's an 8..let's go with that."  Last time anyone will try to make me wear an over sized metal shoe.  OH and 2) you get balloons when you get new shoes even if you scream while being "measured"!!!!

Mom did another photo shoot the other night...this one for Graycie - an on and off again romance (i choose to insert the "y" as it makes her and my names that much closer) and her brother Henry (insert pound and Thomas train).  I think it went pretty well...until the end.  Here's all I know - it was a long evening, we were approaching the finishing line and mom had visions of sugar-plums porch swing photos with the siblings.  One said sibling was just a year old and as such, maybe not as stable as the other.  Her mom and dad recognized that and hung close to the swing.  Mom apparently thought that said parents were going to be an obstacle in the full porch swing photo and proceeded to request that her parents just "trust" this 1 year old for a minute and let her be alone on the swing for just one or two shots.  This shot was right before the end of the photo shoot and potentially the end of my relationship with Graycie and mom's relationship with Graycie's parents.  You can tell Henry wasn't pleased.

The salt-march is getting old and I have started to chill out a little at the ole' day care.  We actually call it school and sometimes now when I wake up since I don't know what day it is I just say "schoo? schoo?" and I get a yes or no.  I mean, I'm still not pulling any Arsenio Halls when we pull into the parking lot but I just request for puppy (my moral support), hold on tight to mommy or daddy and with no tears but a little anxiety I am handed to Ms. Dawn who proceeds to walk me to the window so I can wave and blow a kiss to mom or dad as they head off to who knows where.  I have started eating a little there as well and yesterday rocked a 2 hr. and 15 minute nap.  Yup, you heard it right - on a cot on the floor I just crashed for over 2 hours.  I am also mildly obsessed with my Monday sitter - Am (pronounced: iam).  Now when mom comes to get me in the morning - I include Iam in the line up of wanting to know their whereabouts (daddy? puppy? daisy? naddy? IAM?)

Alright - with that I think I'll go put on my "soes" and play some basketball. You should see my outside shot..it's sick.  Here are a few pics from a photo assignment mom had to do for a class she's taking. Yes, I model for a living as evidenced by my poses.

Crew Cut...

Hello my sweets!  I greet you as mom always greets me when she sees me (unless I happen to be complaining, crying, whining or naked...then it's usually either "I don't understand you, can you please use your words" or "Hello my...OH MY, where's your daddy and please put your water down."  I digress.  Things have been going well around home.  One question I have is, "will I forever have this much snot and will it always be this color??"  I really just feel like the nose is non-stop and quite frankly I'm sick of mom attacking me with a washcloth.  What will it take for her to figure out if she comes at me with that thing I'm going to scream and cry and then she'll have a bigger problem on her hands than if she just let what was originally there dry up and fall off on its own.  Don't they teach you those things in school?

I think since reading my last blog post Mom is looking to get me out of daycare.  I've only gained 1/2 a pound since my 15 month appointment and I think mom thinks daycare is making me anorexic.  I tried to tell her it's just my salt march but regardless she's looking for an out.   Who wants to come over and play 2 days a week?  I'm real sweet and cute, I promise.

Oh, I got a haircut and I mean a real haircut.  Mom gave me the whole trim around the ears and back routine last Wednesday but then Dad said I was nearing a Justin Bieber look and so mom promptly finished off the top on Thursday night.  I do alright with haircuts..they're no equivalent to ice cream but I also don't dry heave during them as I do when you make me try to eat a carrot.  Yes, I literally dry heave.  Back to the hair - so at first I was really scared of the clippers and wouldn't let you come  near me.  Now, mom can cut my hair herself so long as the following three pieces are in place:

1. I'm eating. Preferably a bowl of Pirates Booty.

2. You let me touch the clippers before you put them to my head. I find the vibration hysterical.
3. I have puppy with me and not only is puppy with me but you need to give puppy a haircut with the clippers every 3 minutes.

When you succumb to all three of those requests then I'll take my crying down to complaining as you cut.  You're welcome.  I felt like my new haircut made me look preppy - so I went and played some golf with my close buddy Baxter.

Mom's still working on building her photography portfolio so she made me call Lucille to ask if she could take pics of her and her sisters again.  How embarrassing! It was fine though, I tweeted her and she re-tweeted me right away saying they were in.  I mean, SERIOUSLY, how cute are these girls? Yea, I get to see them multiple times per week.  I am One. Lucky. Man. (insert shamless plug for mom)

Lastly, the fam and some friends (including my girlfriend) went pumpkin picking this weekend.  Fall is here people and we have the pumpkins to prove it.  My favorite part was the tractor ride that we went on to get into the pumpkin patch.  Actually, that was my second favorite part - my FAVORITE part was when dad shared his special pumpkin picking donut with me.  For some reason mom walked away when she was eating her donut...wait a minute!! I also loved having my own little pumpkin to carry, seeing Lucille in my JMU hat - what a cute girlfriend she is - and giving my future newest friend, baby Anna, my little pumpkin so she could share in the pumpkin picking fun!! (Baby Anna is due October 18th and we CAN-NOT-WAIT!!)

Really a great weekend.  Still am working on my words but I've pretty much mastered the following:

1. Up...Pease?

2. Dad-dy, Mom-my (or Mama), Pup-py, bup-py (lovey), Daisy, and now Nana (otherwise known as Maddie..the dog we are dog sitting for)

3. E-I-E-I-O.  This comes out when MAD asks if I want to sing a song.  They will list a whole host of songs to which I violently shake my head no.  When they finally ask me what I want to sing I just respond (in-tune) "E-I-E-I-O"

4. cheeyos

5. ball

6. doc-toe (short for doctor...this comes out when we read "..then the doctor said, NO MORE MONKEYS JUMPIN ON THE BED!!"

7. Bubbles (this one is usually said on repeat)

8. Help (typically this is said when I'm trying to climb onto something I am not allowed to climb on)

9. Tank-ou

10. Amen.

And to that I say, AMEN. 

g'night, my sweets.