Happy Birthday Aunt Jessy

In true fashion, Mom was late in reminding me that it was my Aunt Jessy's birthday. As such I wanted to make it up to her by creating this happy birthday video. I can't wait to meet you Aunt Jessy! Turn up the volume and enjoy!!

Smiling's my favorite..

As said best by Buddy Elf and second best by me -- here are just some pics to show you my favorite activity. I have been smiling for maybe 2 weeks or so (non toot related) but now I actually think mom, dad, and daisy can sometimes be funny and these smiles are LEGIT.

This is me warming up for a smile. I'm not just gonna give this stuff away---I think mom was just in the beginning of a joke and I kinda KNEW it was going to be hilarious but I needed to hear the punch line first---

Then she came out with it..."To get to the other side" and I thought...ehhhh, that was just OKAY..so I gave a 1/2 smile
So, then she started with joke #2.."There was a rabbi, a school teacher, and a priest..." -- I was waiting in anticipation as this already started better than, "why did the chicken cross the road.."

AND then it ended with "...That's what she said" and oh man, I about lost it....



So funny in fact, I started to dance---ladies and gentlemen..I give you my best, "ride the pony"..

Green, Grandma, and Getting Old

Dear loved ones --

Oh how sorry I am that so much time has past between postings. I could type excuse after excuse after excuse but I learned in my pre-babe-ital classes that finding excuses doesn't fix the problem. Simply accepting your faults (even when you know you're not the one in fault), apologizing, and asking for forgiveness helps ease the tensions much faster. So, I'm a slack, I'm sorry, please forgive me - gosh, that's weird..I feel like I hear mom saying those words to dad all the time. Deja-vu.

Okay, because you peoples are busy and I understand that, I'm going to type about the three things listed above (shift eyes to subject line) in the order in which they were written. I won't be able to put as much detail as I was hoping so that you actually have time to read all this but all are worthy of discussing so rev the engines..let's get started.

A) Gray goes Green --

There's all this talk these days about "Going Green" and protecting the earth for our children and our children's children, blah, blah, blah. Well, quite frankly I don't even have a girlfriend yet. HOWEVER, mom and dad have already arranged a marriage for me with either of the lovely Eve or Mae Kennedy (or both??) and/or Harper King and I'm thinking 2-3 children at a minimum as I'm a baby and I don't feel like I'm hard to love. So, I'm starting to focus on my future, the environment, and the globe one diaper at a time. Let me explain. My buddy Henry blogged the other day about pooing in the tub. Well, H-man just turned 2 years old and the expression on my face when I read that he is JUST LEARNING to poo in the tub left me speechless (as you know, I'm never short on words). I'm sitting here thinking that EVERYONE poo's in the tub, no? I poo in the tub regularly and I'm really shocked that word hasn't gotten out to more children..especially with this push not to waste and always to reduce, reuse, and recycle. Let me lay out the benefits for you real quick and I'm pretty sure after you read them you'll join me in the understanding that pooing in the tub just makes sense and is the best decision for everyone (boys and girls alike).

1. No wasting of a diaper. Listen..don't get me wrong. There are few things more enjoyable than pooing right when mom or dad puts a fresh diaper on you and then pooing 10 minutes later after they've gotten another fresh diaper on you just to see their facial expressions and watch dad do the diaper math in his head. BUT, as I think about my grandchildren I realize I don't' want the earth to be covered in diapers and so pooing in the tub reduces just ONE diaper a day that's wasted...multiply that by the millions of children ages 3 and under that are still in diapers and we've saved about 60 rain forests a year.

2. Still bath turns into jacuzzi within seconds. I don't think I need to go into this much b/c we all poo. Everyone knows that some space needs to be cleared before a good poo and the only way to clear the path is to let out some toots (or farties as mom calls them--real mature). So, I'm not sure the science behind this but all I know is that when the toots get started the tub jets get turned on and I'm chillin in a jacuzzi. People pay thousands for a jacuzzi---if they only knew that pooing in the tub created the same effect. I feel so bad for some people and all the money they waste.

3. I don't have to sit in my dirties. Sometimes after I poo mom and dad make me chill in it thinking I'm dumb enough to get round 2 out that quickly before they get a new diaper on me. When I poo in the tub I get picked up faster than mom did when she was single (BOOYAH!) and I don't have to sit in that mess for even a second.

4. Diaper saved - 0.16 cents. Wipe saved - 0.04 cents. The expression on the bath givers face (typically dad) - priceless.

5. Mom sings a song that's made up on the spot whenever I succeed. The lyrics change each night but the chorus typically includes some version of "Poo poo's in the tub, poo poo's in the tub, oh how I love me some poo poo's in the tub" -- eat your heart out Simon Cowell.

B) Grandma -

As I already sneak peeked in a previous post--Grandma Brock came to visit me for 10 days just a week and a half ago. It was amazing. Although mom and dad had me in strict nap training so much to both her and my dismay I couldn't be rocked to sleep with each holding--we still got plenty of cuddle time in and I LOVED it! We would walk every morning with mom and Daisy (You guys remember daisy??). We played on the floor, we did tummy time together (she's much better at that than I as she won every "how long can you hold your head up" game. I'm not bad though) -- she would do my late night feedings so mom and dad could go to bed early, she would be up with me in the mornings if I didn't feel like going back to sleep, she cleaned my poo poo's out of the tub (see above), she held me when I cried (although I don't remember ever crying while she was here but that's what mom and dad keep telling me), she babysat me so mom and dad could go on another date or so that mom could do errands or go to the doctors sans me (it still doesn't make sense to me why she would ever want that), she took us out to dinner and mom and I got some GREAT dinners, she cooked us dinners, she cleaned the house, she cleaned my booty, she gave me a bath..and the list goes on and on. One night we even had uncle Aaron and cousin Caity down for a visit (see picture) -- HEY, WAIT A MINUTE...WHERE AM I???? OH, tell me you did this while I was napping?!?! I see what I mean to you...cute guys..REAL STINKIN CUTE. Anyway - she left last Wednesday and I miss her a lot. I know mom and dad miss her a lot too but the one we STILL hear crying the most since she left is Daisy---speaking of Daisy..where is Daisy?!?! (J/K Aunt Carla...I know where she is :)!!!)

C) Getting Old -

Few things here. This will be filled with mostly informative information so go ahead and grab your paper and pencil to write a few important things down. ... I'm waiting ....

Okay. I'm 2 months (but I'm sure you knew that..thank you for all the cards, flowers, gifts, etc -- if you didn't send anything I will allow you to make up for it on my 3rd month birthday) OH and you have no idea how easy it was for me not to post when I turned 8 weeks -- psshhh...week counting is for babies. Anyway - Dad told me I had to wait till I turned 2 months but now that I'm there I have my own email address. Grayson.Brock@gmail.com -- feel free to use it anytime as I check frequently and mom and dad don't know the password so say whatever you want about them. Trust me..it won't be anything I haven't heard or thought. Also, I had my 2 month checkup with the doc and got my stats. 75% all around...HOLLA! 12 lbs 15 oz for weight (I may already weigh more than my cousin Haley)...23.5 inches....for length of my BODY people--geesh, you always have to go there. (although we think I'm longer b/c even though mom taught me..I forgot to hold my hands up over my head). Doc said I look great though and because I look so good they applauded me with 5 shots in my legs and one serving of liquid medicine for me to swallow. Awesome.

Alright..I leave you with just pics. My 2 month photo shoot (I'll post a reminder of the 1 month shot) -- and also, some pics from future posts...mom took me to a reunion she had with some college roommates and one of them had a little boy that is about 5 weeks older than me. Also, my shmappy Grandma Cereola and aunt KJ came for a quick visit on Monday into Tuesday and that was no less than amazing. --

until next time...G-z.

So much to write and so little time..

Hey Party Animals,

Gosh--a week has past and I have so much to update you with but I'm nervous I'm not going to have the time to get it all out. In fact, there is one subject in particular that I need to write about and that may be all we have time for today but here we go.

I need your opinion. Okay, here's the deal. As I've gotten older (and by older I mean 7 weeks), more and more people are commenting on how I look like "Kyle." I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that that's my dad. So, as I hear that more often I have been studying him more up close and from afar. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?? As of last Sunday I had made the official conclusion that it is indeed a GOOD THING. I must say (with the manliest tone I can muster up), I think my dad's a stud. He's in shape, great facial features, nice build, big feet ;), big hands, great smile, decent hairline for a guy his age, etc, etc. I've actually been pretty pumped to hear that I'm lookin' more and more like the old man and as of last Sunday would have said I only hope that continues. I mean, who wouldn't want to look like this guy:

Wait...not that guy...crap--THIS GUY..

You'd have to be crazy not to agree with me and I'd have to be crazy not to be happy that I look like him. UNTIL last Monday rolled around. As mentioned in my last post my Grandma is here visiting this week. It has been wonderful and I'll go into that trip a bit more later..for now I have a point to make. So, she came on Monday and at first glance mentioned again right away how much I look as dad looked as a baby. Again, I smiled. Love that man. Then she proceeded to pull out some baby pics of dad and the first one I looked at when he was first born made me realize that YES, I DO look like dad. Again, I smiled. THEN friends...then she pulled out an 8x10 of dad's 2 month photo. My Lord. Yes, Jesus--I'm talking to you -- my Lord. No wonder whe had it in an 8x10 b/c I'm pretty sure dad couldn't fit into a 5x7. I'm now 7 weeks headed into my 8th week and just shy of officially being 2 months old but if I hear even ONCE that I look like my dad when I'm 2 months, someone is going to get hurt. I get it...I get that I am filling out. I get that I'm around 12 pounds and am probably going to hear I'm in the upper percentiles at my 2 month doc visit. Mom isn't shy to eat a french fry or 2...or 14 and I know that's going straight to her hips and straight to my chin(s) but REALLY people- do I really look like my dad when he was 2 months????

Some of you are probably laughing...no wait, I take that back - ALL of you are probably laughing and I'm sure the women reading this, in between wiping the tears that are rolling down their faces, are going, "Awww, look how cute he is..I just want to SQUEEZE him and SQUEEZE those cheeks" but guess what ladies--I don't want to be squeezed. I want to be able to put my head down so I can see my toes. I want to be able to be picked up still when I'm 2 months. I want to still be able to use my car seat then and not have to be put in a big boy car seat b/c i've surpassed the weight limit of my current one. You only can say that "aww..look how cute.." crap now b/c you've had 25+ years to lose that second and third chin but I haven't had that chance yet and I'll be DARNED if I let it get to that caliber before I do. So, Mom..if you're reading this--I know you've started one nightly bottle of formula in hopes that I'll sleep longer, and YES it worked last night as I slept for 7 hours before you had to wake me, but I want off it and I want off it now - I don't need those extra calories. Also, I want you to stop ALL Carbs and ALL desserts IMMEDIATELY...and yes that includes the fruit snacks. I want us walking more and I don't want to be carried--I want to walk myself. This 12+ pound boy is getting back down to 10 pounds where I should be. AND, for you readers--sure, feel free to think that I look like my dad..but, if you could hold off on telling me that for about 22 or 23 more years..me, my chins, and my self esteem would appreciate that.

I leave you with this - bath last night..pretty sure I'm outgrowing the hammock - and look, I can still touch my chin to my chest - praise the Lord.

I'll be back soon to fill you in on my week with Grandma. In short - it's been great and turns out I love napping in my crib. I hate it when mom and dad are right. - luv, G

Nap Training and Pictures

Followers (that's YOU!) -

This is going to be quick with mostly pictures because Grandma Brock comes tomorrow and I've never met her before so I'm getting an extra good night sleep tonight so I can look my best come the morning (oh man, if mom and dad heard me say that.."extra good night sleep" they'd probably laugh hysterically). Not too much new going on around here except mom and dad have been trying to get me to take some more solid naps in my crib rather than on top of people. I really am not sure why they are doing this though b/c the truth is, I RARELY sleep on people and when I do, I don't sleep very soundly:

Crap - you weren't supposed to see those. But wait, it's not what it looks like. I was in fact just being my typical life of the party and telling Johnny Minor a joke. It went like this--

me: Knock, Knock, Johnny

Johnny: Who's there

me: Sleeping baby

Johnny: Sleeping baby who?

me: (see picture)

Johnny: hahahahaha (see picture)

That joke works every time b/c I can do the BEST sleeping baby impression.

But, seriously--before I go let me just vent for one more second on this nap thing in the crib. Listen. When people go to prison, one of the ways they are punished is that they have to spend the majority of the hours in a 24 hour period in their cell behind bars. Secluded from the world. No Oprah, no Ellen, no boppy, no NOTHIN'. Well, I don't believe I've committed any crimes to warrant any time in prison but yet I'm already spending at LEAST half of my day behind some sort of bars and so to force me in there for any additional hours during a day would just feel like punishment...like prison. Quite frankly, I don't believe I have done anything to deserve any punishment yet. So, since mom and dad make me go in there for all the night time hours, I believe that I deserve to be treated a bit more respectfully in the day and if that means sleeping on mom's shoulder while she watches Ellen and Oprah, then so be it. If someone picked you up off the couch in the middle of either one of those shows while you were peacefully resting..I bet you'd cry too. So, don't go labeling me a "baby" just because I shed a few tears when you try to throw me in prison during every commercial break. Whew, glad I got that off my chest. Here are some pictures from this past week and I hope to be back at some point during Grandma Brock's visit so stay tuned!

This was just this morning before Church (Mom wasn't dressed just yet) - check out my cheeks! Also, notice how dad and I are dressed alike---I picked out my shirt first.

The others are of me just being cute and then one of my outfit I wore to Dad's first softball game of the season. This last one was taken just yesterday at a little cookout we had to celebrate my nanny's (Aunt Christina) birthday!! There were actually more people there but we waited till the very end to think about taking a picture. Oh and just to be clear..I thought I heard someone say, "do your best sleeping baby impersonation" before they took the shot. Turns out they just said, "say cheese" but it was so loud outside with the birds chirping and stuff...honest mistake.

True or False

Alright folks. I've been hearing a little chitter chatter out there..some rumblings if you will about me that I don't think are all entirely true. I wanted to take a minute to just clear up some misconceptions OR confirm the truth of some statements that I've read in the tabloids as mom checks out of the local CVS. So..here we go:

1) Rumor: I don't write my own blogs but mom writes them for me. FALSE. I have no words for this shenanigans and so instead of just telling you how RIDICULOUS that is that I wouldn't write my own material and am not capable of typing--I did some self timer shots. Oh and listen..one word out of you about my 'Plumber's booty' in the third picture and I'll hunt you down. So I wear my diapers low...that's how the kids do it these days...don't be a hater.

2) Rumor: I write my posts with clothes on. FALSE. See above. That diaper usually isn't even on when I'm typing but mom wouldn't let me put my birthday suit on the Internet.

3) Rumor: I am already starring in my first sitcom -- Nip n' Tuck. TRUE and FALSE. I don't THINK I'm going to be on TV but last Wednesday I had the worst thing done to me imaginable. I'm not going to go into it b/c just typing about it brings back the nightmares and I don't really know how to spell the full name of the procedure that they called it, but let's just say it involved a little Nip n' Tuck..well, actually it involved a LOTTA Nip n' Tuck (HOLLA!) and yea--worst day of my life (and of mom and dad's life). I didn't hear mom's voice at all while I was being worked on as apparently she left the room crying (like she had anything to be crying about!) so I know she's innocent but I did hear dad's voice and one other man's voice. If I EVER find out it was dad who did this to me..oh man, him and I are going to need another heart to heart.

4) Rumor: I have no friends. FALSE - whoever is spreading this rumor is just rude. In order to combat the ugly rumor mill I got together with two of my best buddies, Will and Hudson (twins) and had the razzi (what we call the paparazzi) take some shots of us. Will is on the left and Hudson on the right and I'm like the hot dog, right in the middle.

5) Rumor: I've been a little more grumpy lately. FALSE. Listen..I know who is spreading this and it's my parents. I've heard the term "Grump-a-pottomis" thrown around a few times in the house. I would like you to re-read #3 above and tell me if you wouldn't be just the TINIEST bit frustrated if you had to go through that at 5 weeks. Most of my buddies had it done in the hospital when they had no clue what was going on and didn't have the time to know their body enough to even realize what was missing. Of all people my dad should understand this. My mom I can sort of justify--she doesn't get it..but SERIOUSLY, Dad?? I don't call my mood grumpy though and to prove that I show you this picture taken recently.

Alright..glad I cleared those up. I leave you now with just a few more shots from this past week. Much love to my crew.