ahhhhh..where to start. Well, I'll just jump right in I guess - soooo, I ripped the tape measure in half when the nurse was trying to get the circumference of my head. Why was she so obsessed with getting the measurement to the exact millimeter? I was already sad when she walked in there as it was right in the middle of what would have been my afternoon siesta and then mom accidentally (or so she claims) knocked me in the face as she was attempting to put on one of my crocs in an effort to make me less sad. Two words Mom...EPIC FAILURE. Slap in the face made me more sad and then nurse lady insisted I have my head measured and it didn't matter that she attempted at least 4 times prior to the hulk hogan move I pulled - she was persistent. So on the last go I just grabbed it by both sides as I let out the loudest ROAR I could have mustered up and just pulled with all my might and POW - Grayson - 1, Paper tape measure - 0. She evened up the score though when she pulled out another one. Seriously, can't they just get different size hats to put on us? Whichever one fits, that's the size of my head...why is that so hard? A paper tape measure?!? Hey nurse, 1982 called and they want their method of measuring a
baby's big boy's head back.
Then, another lady walks in while I'm working on my afternoon snack and seriously comes after me with some cold, metal object right on my chest, then my back, then my ribs, then back to my back. What in the world is wrong with these people?? I knew she was trying to hear something as these long pipes extended into her ears from said metal object so I just screamed as loud as I could in hopes she couldn't hear a thing. I don't feel bad - Eye for an eye, lady.
We left knowing this. I'm crazy tall (at least an inch off the curve) and 29 lbs. and some change. That put me at 95%. Oh and for my ever so accurate head measure - 95%. Good thing she was so precise as to put me in a frenzy, pretty sure the doc would have sent me to a head specialist if I came in at 94% or 96%. All that to say, nothing we didn't already know - they're not worried about malnourishment for me. Good news...she told mom to keep me on whole milk till I'm 2. Who's got two thumbs and loves thick milk?? THIS GUY....
Y'all - totally unrelated topic but mom and I have been visiting some day cares as we prepare for the coming year. No, I didn't fire Aunt Am and Friday Mom but Friday Mom is moving to Nicaragua and although I have pleaded on several occasions to have me flown there every Thursday night - I've been told not till I'm 8 can I fly alone and so the answer is No for at least 7 more years. And Am...well, she for some reason turned down the position to be my in-home nanny/housekeeper/chef. I mean, I offerred $20/day...can you really beat that as a nurse??? So, the other day we walked into one (which is the one I will be attending 2 days per week) and I think I know what sold mom. You're thinking it was the friendly staff, great curriculum, colorful classrooms, and their offerring of part-time. MYTH. What got mom was when we walked into the Toddler room (where I will be residing on T/Th) and apparently it was nap time because let me set the stage. 10 toddlers (16-24 month olds) lying on little mattresses ON THE FLOOR with their blankie and lovey SOUND ASLEEP. Did you get that? All 10 of them people..all asleep...no pack n' plays, no physical barriers, all just lying there on their mats looking as peaceful as can be. I personally think there are electric fences around each of those mattresses and have a funny feeling that each kid wears a chip on their belly button. I tried to wake up the kids to see if they got shocked when they moved off their bed but my "DAH!!" and "DUAAHH?????" and frantic pointing at each of them didn't work. Check back in mid-August for the update, but let's just say mom told the lady she deserved a raise if she could keep me on that mat for 5 minutes.
Last topic of this post - apparently my family is collectively known as the Dog Whisperer? We rescue dogs. Not for permanent residence but I didn't realize MAD couldn't pass by a runaway dog on the side of the road without having it end up in our backyard. Meet Gizmo (we gave her that name). Nobody has claimed her yet and quite frankly I hate her. When I'm sitting on the floor she's JUST at my height and girl won't get out of my face. Daisy at least is annoyed of me so she stays away - this girl is all up in my grill not even leaving me with any air to breathe. We've tried to find her owners - collar but no tags. Dad posted her sweet face on Craigslist and so far we've gotten one person telling us she's a Puggle and not a Pug and that we spelled the name of the street wrong that we found her on...awesome, thanks for wasting my time Captain Correction. Then another person emailed claiming that it "MIGHT" be her dog as her dog ran away 10 days ago from a city about 20 minutes from us. We emailed them back asking for some identifiers (color of collar, any markings, tricks she knows, etc) but we haven't heard back. OH and for the record - asking the person of any certain tricks was suck a trick question. Dog is dumb. She can't even sit - so even if this fraudster thought he/she was so smart by saying, "oh she knows sit and lie down" as most every dog knows the basics..this dog doesn't EVEN know the basics so we would have known so called owner was an impostor. BOOYAH. Anyway, 10 more days and this dog is free to be adopted --- want her?
Oh yea, and mom and dad went to a safari with some of their besties. I still am a little disappointed they didn't take me but did I mention my Grandma flew in on last minute's notice to care for me while MAD had a mini vacation? I don't get what you even do with yourselves if I'm not with you so I'm sure it was pretty boring but I guess Dad managed to surprise mom with a trip to what appears to be the Wild Animal Kingdom. I have more pics of my time with Grandma but they all ended up on Dad's computer so you're going to have to wait until next post. I'll leave you with a teaser though...that's how I roll...always leave the readers wanting more....
Peace,
ps. To finish off the subject...you say tomato and I say, "DAH!"
